![]() All his emotions get instantly wildly manifested in his plain appearance, no hiding, all freedom. Passionate, wild, untethered creature, full of fire that burns in both his heart and his body. Phoenix was like myself, or at least like my ideal self. ![]() ![]() ![]() I realized that it is also a symbol that I was in need of. Immediately I knew that this is my kind of amaizing creature and an inner animal, if you like. I looked him up on internet and there was so much more to phoenixes and I became addicted to them. I think that was the first time I realized that phoenix is not just a creature of fire, it also has many other fascinating properties. The first one I really became to love was probably Fawkes from Harry Potter. That came much later but I always liked them a lot. I didn’t think of them as something resembling me, I was too inexperienced, nothing really happened to me, I couldn’t relate. And then I learned about phoenixes and they fascinated me. But over time I wasn’t so excited about them, something wasn’t quite right. I used to like dragons when I was younger, dinosaurs, too, not only but also because they resemble them, and dragons are animals of fire. I like the idea that I am solar-powered □ I think most people have it like that but they don’t realize or think about it that way. Or I warm my hands over a candle or fireplace, or I sometimes imagine doing that when I’m cold and there is no fire – power of mind and that stuff □ It might sound silly but I’d swear my autumn and winter spleens always mysteriously disappear when I feel the warm rays of sun against my skin. I still nowadays imagine it sometime as a ball of heat and flames in my hands, it’s my favorite meditation visualization. So I tried to learn how to see the aura on my fingers □ Although I don’t think I ever saw it, still I enjoyed imagining controling it to make a shape out of it and so. In time of puberty, when I got charmed by magic and was trying to break into the world of people who practice it (or they said so :D), I was fascinated by anything associated with fire, and anything that linked me to it made me thrilled, even the dumb internet tests like „which element are you?“, or the characteristics of my sign – Leo – which vary but they share one main thing – Leo is a fire sign. How fantastic would it be to be so powerful and immortal, not having to fear anybody or anything, but being able to fight for whatever or whoever I loved… Of all Marvell and other supernaturaly powerful characters I have always been most taken away by firebenders, guys who could control fire, and when I first met Jean, her omnipotence and fearlessness had me totally fascinated. (That’s why I, a few years later, when I decided that I will probably never be a poi-girl myslef since I don’t have enough time to meet up with the people, at least I bought a djembe.) Drums and Fire = instant meditative state. I wanted to be able to be a part of it, and to get lost in the rhythm of drums. I have always enjoyed the fire shows and those cool alternative people spinning in a fierce rhythm, blazing poi’s. I had such a respect for them. My fantasy was always rich enough and I’m a dreamer so I felt (I still do) like there was some magical connection that empowered me like nothing else, perhaps with the exception of hot water, which is a great combo of the two elements. Me being „m.“ made all sense (I actually originally used it in small letter, too.) But moving onto the phoenix! It rang a bell in me and for a while I had that as my blog description and logo. So it changed but it’s not meant to mean Em as Ema, I’m still M., as for the first letter of my actual name but meaning also a lot of other things. I’m into minimalism (you can read why here) and I saw a picture once that said „ Minimal is m.“ and I thought that was just fantastic idea. It used to be „M.“ but then I felt that I want to stress out how I pronounce it. Wherever you came here from, you probably noticed my on-line name which is Em Phoenix and I feel like there should be an explanation to it so that you know what it means to me. I wrote this post in Czech originally, but after a while I thought this was something quite important so I should bother to translate it properly since Google translate wasn’t really doing it.
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